It Takes A Muscle

I’ve loved backpacks for a while now, I’m pretty sure my attraction towards backpacks first began when I started reading Japanese fashion magazine scans. I know a majority of my readers are like me and love those Japanese mags and have seen all the various types of backpacks they have in those magazines. Luckily, backpacks have really grown in popularity in the U.S. recently and I’ve seen more and more backpacks that I really want. Number one being the Fjallraven Kanken. Now this is actually a Scandinavian backpack but they ship to the U.S.

Number two that I saw recently at Urban Outfitters was the Herschel Settlement backpack.

Two other items I’ve been eying are two pairs of shoes from Madewell.

The first pair are these heels. I really love these. I’ve been wanting a simple pair of heels that aren’t too high so they give a more relaxed feeling.

The other pair are these dustbowl boots. It’s kind of funny, I’ve really been wanting a blue shoe, and a nice shade of blue like this popped at me.

I won’t be purchasing any of these items for a while though. Besides not having a job, I’m saving the money I currently have for my trip to N.Y.C. (If it happens). Tickets have been around $600 lately and I just can’t afford to cough that cash up considering I also need my spending money for New York…but we’ll see. On the lookout for a cheaper ticket.

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I’ve been a bit stressed lately thinking about school. My major is Graphic Design and a minor in/ or double major possibly in Japanese. Don’t get me wrong, I really like graphic design and I love Japanese. The reason I won’t just major in Japanese is because a majority of the jobs related to speaking Japanese have to do with business. And I just won’t make myself suffer through that world, I know I would make quite a bit of money if I take that route but that’s not my direction in life. I’m awesome at being cheap and I’m fine the way I am, I don’t need the extreme luxuries of life.

Some other career choices I’ve thought about are finding a place in the film world. But that is the most risky of my passions. I think film will forever be something I enjoy doing on the side. But I’m still not sure if I’ll leave it on the side. It’s weird, sometimes I’ll look at a situation and think to myself, “this could translate well into a film clip.” I think I’m too scared to take that big of a risk…

Another choice I’ve mulled over longer than the rest is writing. This decision budded from the  age of 12, the age I first picked up a book for myself and began reading. Ever since then I’ve remained consistent in reading. A passion for writing grew when I began reading. I’ve actually have had two things published. One was a poem I wrote in middle school and submitted to a young writers book. The second was a short story I wrote during high school while I was in a UCLA summer writers program, the teacher of my class told me she submitted my story to be published in the UCLA writers journal. The biggest reason I decided to not pursue a career in writing has to do with what my high school counselor said to me. “You’ll most likely be unemployed for a majority of your life.”  Oh. What she said honestly scared me, and I let that fear of being a deadbeat my entire life push the thought of becoming a writer to the back of my mind. She said that to me during my Junior year. Before that, I had been dreaming of attending Eugene Lang college in N.Y.C. for creative writing. I imagined that I would meet people in publishing because I would be at the center of publishing, New York. Fantasies fade and reality sets in.

This is why I’m going to do graphic design. So I can get a job in a field I enjoy while I write a book on the side or film on the side. It’s my back up plan to at least ensure a comfortable life.

This is a rant. I’ve been scared. But I’ll figure it out. I don’t know. Sorry that this was so long, I just needed to get it off my chest. These decisions suck.

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